She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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