This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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