from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
