Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
