it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
