Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
