remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
