we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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