Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
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I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
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And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize