I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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