So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
mondays should just be called national damage control day
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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