using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
