Say something about gay babies.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
