Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
