3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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