And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
