A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize