I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
