There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
