I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
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we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
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Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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