i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
