I can't breathe out the right side of my face
birth control should be required to get into college
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
