i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
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This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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