we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
