Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
