time to smoke my breakfast
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
