I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
