Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I fill condoms, not promises.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
