Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
