There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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