Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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