So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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