What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
