And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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