I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
