omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize