Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
