so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Boobs speak an international language.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
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