I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize