I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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