Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
