Define "chronic" masturbator.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
