I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
