My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
