i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Randomize
