I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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