i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
