Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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