you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
