WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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