winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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