I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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