coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize