jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
