Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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