are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
